just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my being single is dangerous.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
