Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
