i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize