You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
