I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Randomize
