True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
