His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
