I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I cannot find my penis.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
