Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Enjoy the penises
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
