I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
