This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
