Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
