Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
