I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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