I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
