your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
