Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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