that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
