you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
