No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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