I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Ketchup is God's man juice
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
