I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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