alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize