She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
