Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
