i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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