And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
