Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize