Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
And then my night got REAL pukey
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
