I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
