I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
