Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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