Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
