I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
