oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
