I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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