Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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