well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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