we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
