He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
