Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Semen is not good for contacts.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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