Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
