soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
