if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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