My cat gives me a boner
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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