Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My balls are so social today.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
did i walk over a car last night?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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