What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
