I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize