Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
