ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
