apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
