So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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