I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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