sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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