Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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