"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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