Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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