I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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