Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
someone get that fucking seahorse.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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