You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
sex in a hospital.. check
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize