you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
