my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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